True life story. Episode 2: Continuation

 For Linda

When I was done I sat down for a while and watched the TV show till it ended after which I got up eager to have my phone in my hands not that I really used it for anything worthwhile but it distracted me from my life and my circumstances. 

I turned on the phone, sat on my bed and plugged in my earphones, a lot of notifications came in at the same time, the phone had been dead for a while. After everything was updated, I opened one of my messaging platforms and glanced at my screen, one message stood out among the rest and instantly, my world shattered. Everything happening around me practically slowed to a halt, I could feel the rhythm of my heart beats, hear the drone of a distant generator, the splattering of the rain hitting the earth and the thrum of the music coming out of the earphones I was about to plug into my ears, my brain was having difficulty processing the information my eyes had just sent into it, "Sinmi, Linda died this morning."

Everything after that point was a blur, I left the room, went outside, and I wept in the rain. For as far back as I could remember, I had no memories of crying but that day.

I cried and cried till my head began to pound, I cried when I got back into my room and cried through my roommates panicked queries asking me what was wrong, cried on my bed as I was shivering through my drenched clothes and cried in my dreams.
The following day I found out the details about her death, she had been in a coma for some days, the fire accident she barely escaped from eventually led to her death. 

I searched for her name on my phone, felt the tears well up in my eyes as I looked at our conversation. I hadn't replied her last message, I watched people tell tales and mourn, different versions of the story around her death sprang up and I couldn't bear to listen to some of the tales I heard. They made my mouth taste of bile, I mourned alone, allowing everyone around me doubt my wailing of the previous day had happened at all and finally, regret started seeping in. I could hear whispers in my head, voices telling me how I had failed as a friend and a human being, how I never paid attention to her or cared, why else would I constantly ignore her messages? I never even knew she was involved in the accident at all and while she was dying I was grumbling at my place in the world. 

I curled up and allowed sleep shut it all out. When I woke, I read various messages from people describing how much of a wonderful person she was, the messages got me thinking too and I kept on thinking about her, all the memories I had of both of us flitting through my mind and I finally came to a conclusion, 'I had to change.'

I couldn't continue living the way I did, if I did not appreciate the little things I would never appreciate the great things, and so my mourning ended, I went to bed that night thinking about life, love, people and Linda.

The next morning, I woke up to a new dawn in all possible meanings of the word, the rising sun cast an orange glow into my room and I basked in warmth and sunlight as I sat on my bed, hopeful and optimistic about that day and every other day to come, the corners of my mouth twitched upwards as the ghost of a smile crept onto my face, I got off my bed whilst ignoring the never ending whisperings of my demons.

Linda was someone I met through the funniest of circumstances and I didn't know her for long enough, this wasn't her first near death encounter, it wasn't even her second, but it was her last. The impact she had on my life both before and after she died were huge, I miss her everyday for them. Rest in peace Linda Elegonye, the world did not deserve you.

                                         -Sinmiloluwa Sobogun 

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