Reality bites 2.

Sex in Flood: My parents got divorced when I was young. That's why, as I grew up, marriage didn't excite me. So when people said, "Wait for sex in marriage" , I thought they were mad. At a young age I had sex with my high school girlfriend.

I experienced for myself how long living really has a high cost.
Breaking up from that sexual relationship felt like divorce. I realise now that sex is like a river. A river can bring life to a place, but in flood- it destroys.

It needs strong riverbanks if it to bring life, instead of death. The two banks that make a sexual relationship safe are real friendship and commitment! When I and my girlfriend had sex, passion was there, real friendship and commitment weren't. That's why it flooded us with pain, shame and regret.

My opinion: You might be the fruits of your parents but you're definitely not them. Your faces differ, your names differ, your character should differ. Because they got divorced doesn't mean your case wouldn't differ. Marriage 'should' excite you. Its a lifetime beautiful experience. Don't get emotionally attached to someone you don't intend to spend your life with. If only your mindset differed , maybe you wouldn't suffer from pain, shame and regret. Being a fool for a few moments is better than being a fool for life. Learn lessons from your mistakes dear friend!

I noticed how relatable the last cases on reality bites were, so I decided to talk on more;

Case 1: "I'm 15 and haven't had a girlfriend before. My friends tease me. What do you think?"

Reply: The media, peer pressure, loneliness, hormones and curiosity are all factors that drive us to date. Some people make it seem like we're not someone until we're with 'someone'.
Hold on to every bit of being single and enjoy it until you're old enough to start thinking about finding a marriage partner. Here's why: singleness gives you space go find out who we really are and why we're alive. We don't find wholeness or our destiny in another; it allows us keep our heart whole, saving it as a gift for our life partner one day. Most romantic youth relationships end in heartbreak. This invariably results in creating insecurity and distrust in us, thereby complicating our lives and making it harder to get into a healthy relationship later. It also helps you avoid the sexual temptation that comes from dating.

My opinion: You're just 15, if they tease you, tease them back or walk away. No one should make a choice for you. I'm not against dating. But you shouldn't be made to do it.
In certain cases of waiting for the right one and remaining single, one's life could  be wasted. Also, not having an experience of dating could affect one in understanding what it entails to being in a relationship while 'older' (really old). I advice, make your own choice!

Case 2: "My mom has just died of Aids. My sister and I are all alone. My grandmother is looking for us, but she's very old. We go hungry most nights. What have I got to live for?

Reply: That's pathetic. But you have everything to live for. Being alive is a reason, your sister is another. There's no problem that's so difficult for God. Never doubt him. He has got a mighty plan for your life. No situation, no matter how hopeless is going to change that. Keep your chin up and believe!

Case 3: "I've just found out I'm pregnant. I'm terrified of my dad, my boyfriend and my church finding out. Abortion seems like the only way out. I need help"

Reply: Its saddening to hear you're in such a tight spot. Legally, you can have an abortion up to 12 weeks or 20 for special reasons. Abortion probably looks like the quick fix for the situation you're in. But consider the consequences; 1) The foetus inside you which is a blessing from God. 2) The physical complications like bleeding and inability to have other kids. 3) Post abortion stress such as depression, regret, anger, guilt and withdrawal. Don't let anyone pressure you to abort it. Its your choice!

My opinion: Why are you terrified of the father of your baby? Didn't he weigh the consequences in the bedroom? Please do well to let him know. You both can make a reasonable decision. Think about the choice you want to make. Make sure to understand the consequences above. Do not rush into anything.

What are your thoughts on these cases?

Have a beautiful week ahead